Home — You're not as shy as you think

How’s Your Day Going?

“How’s your day going?” That’s all he said to me. If you remember nothing from this book, remember that phrase. It can be your “go-to.” It’s so simple and can be used in almost any situation. It was the emphasis on your that got me. I didn’t even know he was talking to me. I turned to look and he repeated himself. “How’s your day going?”

This isn’t a normal occurrence if you live in New England. We’re not known for our friendliness. And here was this guy was who seemed genuinely interested in how I was doing. It make me feel connected to him even though I didn’t know him.

Let me set the scene for you. I was in the cafeteria of the Boston hospital where I worked, getting my daily coffee. Normally, it’s eyes forward, head down. Man on a mission. I never thought to actually engage anyone, even If I knew them, with more than a slight head nod.

I was pouring my coffee from one of those giant institutional coffee makers. The ones with the tiny spigot and handle. I was in my own little world. He was wearing a white smock and carrying an enormous coffee filter the size of prehistoric lily pads. I didn’t even know he was talking to me at first. “How’s your day going?”

I don’t know if it was just the right moment at the right time. I don’t know why this moment stuck with me. Maybe it was because no one really interacts with other people they don’t know in public. But in that moment I made a connection with another person. It was nice. He didn’t have to ask, but he did. It was then that it dawned on me that I could do the same for other people. Instead of living in my own head, I could actually reach out to people. Maybe there were other people like me out there. I needed to find out.

What do YouI have to Gain?

Have you heard the phrase “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know?’ There exists, whether you want to admit it or not, a social aspect to life that can get you further than hard work or talent ever could. I used to think I didn’t need people. I used to think if I just kept my nose to the grindstone, I could get further than everyone else. I didn’t want to admit to myself that I needed other people. I worked and worked an worked, yet I saw people who has been there less time or had not learned all the same thing that I had get promoted while I moved up the ladder at a slower pace. I took a step back and thought “If everyone else in moving ahead of me, then it must be me who’s doing something wrong.” I had to stop and look at what was going on. What this these people have that I didn’t? They spoke up at meetings. Even if there idea was not accepted, they had no fear. They spoke more to my boss. As long as I can remember, I have hated asking people for help. Sometime it would take me twice as long to do something because I hated asking for assistance. I’d rather try to figure it out myself. I never wanted to bother people.And as a result, I never interacted as much with people. This shut me off socially. I handicapped myself essentially. Others were thriving, while I was trying to do everything myself

So what do you have to gain? An entirely new life. The life you imagine. Just by interacting with other people. People you think you are bothering, but would probably love to help you.